A friend sent me a long message not too long ago, clearly frustrated and feeling left out. As I read it, I remember rolling my eyes, wondering how she missed the mark and misjudged the context. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
In hindsight, it dawned on me that I’d assumed that my friend knew and understood. My communication had been mostly minimal, often brief, and at worst, one-worded. I didn’t share the whole picture with her, assuming she knew what I was going through. I thought it was clear: I was smack in the middle of a significant transition in my life, where I had to focus on adjusting to a busy season and navigating new routines. But how could she have known what was happening unless I told her?
How many relationships end or struggle because we think the other person ‘should’ know or understand our needs and struggles without us saying a word? We assume, they assume, and before we know it, the gap between us widens. Beware that assumption is the silent killer in relationships, which can quietly unravel even the strongest connections.
The Holy Spirit continues to remind me that we must prioritize the health of our relationships. We must steward our relationships by actively investing in them through honest, open conversations- because what we don’t invest in wastes away.
To have better relationships in ’25, we must have hard conversations in love. I sincerely appreciated my friend’s courage in having such a difficult conversation that forced me to be accountable for my assumptions. Too often, like many of us, I tend to bury my head in the sand, hoping the tension will magically dissolve itself. By opening up the communication channels, she reminded me that silence, even if it feels justified, doesn’t heal. It creates distance.
For more meaningful connections, we must encourage vulnerability and understanding and commit to keeping the lines of communication wide open, especially with those who matter most. Assumptions have no place in relationships; they only lead to frustration and hurt.
The Bible carries timeless wisdom that speaks directly to this. Consider these verses:
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends (Proverbs 17:9 NLT).
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye (Colossians 3:13 KJV).
Love isn’t just about overlooking faults but actively forgiving and engaging in healthy communication. When we forgive, we honor Christ’s example and strengthen our relationships.
Reflect on your relationships with family, friends, or even coworkers. What conversations need to happen? Are there any assumptions or unspoken expectations in your relationships that must be addressed?
As we move through ’25, I challenge you (and myself) to make a fresh commitment: let’s create safe spaces in our relationships where we choose honest communication over assumption and grace over silence. By opening up, may we invite deeper connection, understanding, and the opportunity for our relationships to flourish in God’s love.
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