When It Doesn't Happen, What Do You Do?

Last week, I was mindlessly scrolling on TikTok (per usual) when a man asked Christians a genuine question: What do you do when something God promised you never happens? I quickly scrolled past his post because I wasn’t ready to confront that question within myself. 

See, I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a failed promise. I know what it’s like to look forward to something that never materializes. I know what it’s like to struggle with disappointment. 

In 2021, I received this prophetic word about something I had desired. It shocked me that the prophet brought it up because I had been praying to God for months. So, when he mentioned it, I was all in. While I can sit here and go through all the reasons and/or possibilities and do all the mental gymnastics to explain why it didn’t happen in the timeframe he said, I won’t. You only need to know that it didn't happen as he had prophesied it would by the end of 2021. 

I was devastated. I had done all that I had known to do, praised Him in advance, and was sure to walk a straight and narrow path. Essentially, I was committed to doing my part because I’d been taught that God would do His. But He never did it. The promise never came. Nothing happened for me again. 

As the disappointment set in, so did the resentment. I trusted the God behind the prophet. I believed he heard accurately, and while he may’ve read my soul rather than the heart of God, I believed. And, if I'm honest, it was at that moment that I started having trust issues with God.

Fast forward to the end of 2022. Still no promise in sight, but I knew that my life was about to change. In January 2023, I woke up knowing that I must move to Dallas, Texas, so I did that in July 2023. As you may know, the move triggered the end of my career, which I knew God was asking for. I moved on faith and resigned from my career later that year because God promised me again.

I never wanted to leave. That was my childhood dream. I had worked hard to get to where I was, so leaving wasn’t easy. But I obeyed.

Fast-forward to July 1, 2024. I’m officially out of my career with no plan and clinging helplessly to the small amount of faith that I have. Day 1 was the worst. But as I listened to the testimonies of others who had made similar moves, I was confident that God would come through soon because He had done it for them, and they hadn’t even made the sacrifice I did. I was also hopeful that He would come through because I had left like our father, Abraham. 

I did the thing. 

I made the sacrifice. 

I thought I had paid the price. 

But here we are, 274 days post-career and still nothing. After hearing this story, would you tell me that I didn’t have enough faith? Would you tell me that God owes me nothing though He promised me? Because that’s what the comment section of that man’s video showed when his post resurfaced on my feed. That's what Christians told him. They said all the in-defense-of-God things rather than having empathy and handling him with care. 

It was then that I realized that sometimes, we are the worst. Sometimes, when we don't know what to say, rather than say that, we run to defend when we should listen. We offer empty words and half-understood scriptures to not look at and deal with the wreck. We say shallow things because, if we're honest, we've wondered the same thing, too. 

Needless to say, I never commented on that man's post because I've struggled with--and am still struggling with--his question. I've wondered if God plays favorites. I've wondered if my life were a game to Him. I've had atheistic thoughts. Disappointment runs deep over here. And before anyone tells me that "I need God to heal me" or all the other deflective things, I want to remind everyone that the Bible equally says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Sick, in this case, doesn’t mean to have a cold either. A few definitions of sick are "depressed, lacking vigor, and incapable of producing a profitable crop." Think about that. Deferred hope can cause depression. Deferred hope can steal. your mental strength. Deferred hope can make you unprofitable.

I say that to say, be kinder to people asking genuine questions because you never know the ledge they're standing on. God has never needed us to defend Him and with that thought in mind, I challenge you to love your neighbor as yourself.

Would you give yourself such a black-and-white response like those people in that man's comments? I hope not.

Remember what you did and how you felt when God's promise didn't come to pass for you...